


Sleep Tight

by BaffledQueen



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: A little hurt lots of comfort, Cuddling & Snuggling, Everything is good and things only hurt a little bit, Fluff, Genji is a Little Shit, Genji's here too in mention, Hanzo has a tough time at the beginning, Hanzo just loves Jesse so much, Kigurumis, M/M, Ugly Christmas Sweaters, Weddings, angry mac 'n cheese, excessive imagery, literally nothing else its so wholesome, more mindless fluff because they deserve to be happy, my boys deserve nice things, oops i added more, our boys are safe with me, they're so in love please help my sons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-28
Updated: 2016-09-26
Packaged: 2018-07-26 11:50:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 17,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7573021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BaffledQueen/pseuds/BaffledQueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sleep does not come easily to Hanzo, not any more, but peace is easier then it has been in many long years thanks to his cowboy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sleep Tight

Sleep does not come easy to Hanzo, not any more. That was a fact, 'true as the sky is blue' as Jesse would say. The few brief hours of blissful respite he could steal away like a nimble-fingered thief are not enough. He is haggard and stretched thin, tired beyond all mention. Once upon a time, when he was a younger man, this would not be a problem. Here and now, sitting on the edge of his bed and staring at his hands in the darkness it really is. Ten years is a long time to be alone. During that time, he'd not spoken a word more then he had to. He'd kept himself busy, trying not to dwell, and while Hanzo had been _around_ people he had never been _with_ people.

There had been lots of distractions the first three years, fabricated or otherwise. The clan had not been willing to let him go. In the small hours between running- from himself, from the clan- and fighting, Hanzo found himself drinking. Getting so drunk he couldn't see straight, trying to forget his own name- his brother's name- and the blood on his hands. Precious few hours were dedicated to taking care of his body. Eating, sleeping, bathing; none of it seemed to matter anymore. His only goals were to keep moving forward, never ceasing his aimless wandering. Stress and poor health had given him grey hairs prematurely. Years one through three were long, lonely hours- a haze of unhappy oblivion.

Year four was like being splashed with cold water. The entire fourth year was getting his life back on track, after the clan finally caught up with him. It hadn't been a fight so much as a slaughter. Hanzo had been too drunk to really defend himself. His legs had been mutilated and his unconscious body left for dead. Year four was getting the enhancements, and resetting his paltry sleep cycle to something that resembled 'healthy'. It was drinking enough water and eating good food for the first time in four years. It was learning how to walk again, and hiding the tears of frustration.

Year five was leaving the little village where he'd been learning how to live instead of survive behind him. Relearning independence. Year five was pretending that he was fine, that his legs didn't ache abominably, and wondering what to do next. There were several months at a time spent in one town, or another village, settling restlessly just to meet his needs. Locals did not speak with him, and he did not speak with them. Often times they couldn't. Year five was purposelessness, and that did not suit Hanzo at all. And so years six, seven, and eight were finding out what had happened to Genji.

Year nine was their confrontation in Hanamura. When he had dared to strike out at the man he still called his brother, even in ignorance. It was regret, settled deep in the marrow of his bones. The ninth year was haunting dreams, not of what he had done but of the little boy that Genji had once been. Year nine was shame so total Hanzo thought he might die of it. But year ten was wandering, lost and confused, and eventually joining Overwatch. Hanzo Shimada was a man raised on the virtue of the importance of duty. He craved purpose as all living things craved air.

Ten years alone. Ten years sitting up at night, gazing out windows at the moon. Ten years staring at his hands, scrubbing them clean in a sink over and over but still feeling blood on them. It was a long time to be alone. Silence was persistent, like an odd buzz in his ears. His throat would become sore if he ever spoke, rusty and rough from disuse, which didn't encourage him to use it. The people in the village had been wary of outsiders- no one spoke to him unless they had to. Hanzo had been... lonely, yes, and very confused. Never before had he actually _wanted_ company, and now that he finally did? To lack it was killing him.

Through it all were many, many hours long into nights that never died laying awake and hoping for sleep. Or else dreading it. There were nights with bags under his eyes, so old and so numerous they were like stars, that he would have begged like a pauper. Just a few hours, Hanzo would bargain, just a few. The bags did not go away, and sleep did not come. But there were also nights where dreams haunted him like visions of the past. Nights where he woke sobbing, or screaming, unable to sleep the rest of the dark hours. A few where he didn't know where or when he was that sent him reeling.

During those ten years he'd had some of the longest nights of his life. And then he joined Overwatch. The original intention had been to see Genji and apologize, then leave again to live alone and in silence. But as the age old saying goes, the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry. It had not panned out the way he had wanted, and Hanzo had stayed far longer then he had intended. He had gotten comfortable- and just as he was preparing to leave, he met the cowboy. It's McCree who insists upon talking to the moody Shimada brother, even when Hanzo snaps and snarls.

It's McCree who pours water into his teacup late one night when his hands shake too badly to do so himself. It's McCree who always listens to him, but seems to know just when to tell a ridiculous story or joke to stave off panic attacks. It's McCree who shoves Genji out the door when it becomes too much and McCree who sits with him through the aftermath. "He is entirely justified, you know," Hanzo says as though his heart isn't breaking all over again. "Even so," Mccree insists "Genji oughta know better then bein' ugly like that, 'specially when he knows you're tryin' as best as you know how."

It's McCree who cradles the back of his head and holds him tightly when he cries _again_ like an absolute _child_ , Genji panicking just a few feet away, after his brother apologizes to _him_ as though what he said wasn't all true, all completely and utterly vindicated.

It's the goofy cowboy who makes sure he gets _included_. Who invites him to things even if Hanzo doesn't go. The cowboy who does stupid things to make Hanzo laugh like he hasn't in years. The stupid, wonderful cowboy who drawls indecipherable things like 'Ain't you pretty as a picture?' and 'It's gone all cattywampus' and 'You got the short end of the stick, partner'. It's the gorgeous, awful cowboy who makes him blush with euphamisms and dirty jokes, and the damnable cowboy who laughs so wonderfully at the sight of him pink in the face. It's the handsome cowboy whose hair shines with streaks of brilliant gold in the sunlight, and whose face brightens when Hanzo smiles.

"Oh, there it is," the man sighs happily, grinning at Hanzo's smile. Hanzo flushes at the breathy sound, but that booming laugh makes him feel warm all over.

It's kind, gentle Jesse who holds him when he cries after a particularly bad night. Fumbling, _trying_ Jesse who makes him tea, _terrible_ tea, that same night and sighs in relief when Hanzo criticizes him. Ridiculous Jesse who calls him beautiful, but can't see how good _he_ is. Silly Jesse with his awful pet names, the ones that Hanzo secretly likes even though he would never admit it. It's perfect, wonderful Jesse who makes him dinner on his birthday so that Hanzo doesn't have to celebrate it, can just pretend it's another regular day. But it's Hanzo who suddenly realizes that he might just love this man. And so it's unsteady, unsure Hanzo who kisses him first, and laughs his rusty laugh when the cowboy smiles too hard to kiss back.

Not that he doesn't have plenty of opportunities afterwards.

Jesse is the one who makes him laugh in front of everyone else for the first time, but Hanzo is the one who laughs at their amazed faces. His cowboy is the one who takes him out drinking, and Hanzo is the one who slips into old habits and gets too drunk and cuddles him all night (and also the one who whines when Jesse tries to put him down to move). The ridiculous man is the one who holds him at night, and laughs when Hanzo tries to imitate his accent, and holds his hand like he doesn't ever want to let it go. Jesse is the one who plays with his hair and gives him tiny kisses all over his face. Jesse is the one who cries at movies, and whips him with towels in the kitchen as they run around the island laughing.

And it's Jesse who buys silly things like 'adult' coloring books and word puzzles for himself but shares with Hanzo, the cowboy who quotes absolutely ancient western movies with glee, and it's the same man who trusts him to watch his back on missions implicitly. Hanzo finds himself thinking more and more about what Jesse would like, or what he'd say about something, even just what he'd want for dinner. And Hanzo also finds himself thinking that he doesn't mind the slightest bit, because Jesse is the one who steers the conversation away from things when he sees that Hanzo is uncomfortable.

Jesse is the one who covers him with his serape when Hanzo falls asleep on the couch, the one who gets mad and makes mac 'n cheese to cool down. Jesse is the one who flips the monopoly board when he loses just to make him laugh, and plays games with Hanzo and Hana even though he consistently loses. Jesse is the one who takes him to the ocean at night just to see the innumerable twinkling stars, and tries _so hard_ to make his favorite tea, and lays his stupid, scruffy head in Hanzo's lap. And Hanzo is the one who thinks he'd really like to be with Jesse forever. Jesse is the one who cries when he says so.

Hanzo is the one who cries when Jesse asks for his hand in marriage, and they're _both_ teary eyed at the altar, but _Genji_ is the one sobbing like an absolute baby into his hands.

Hanzo is the one who finds himself feeling lighter just at the thought of his husband, and who can't help but smile when Jesse walks into a room, Hanzo whose cheeks go pink when Hana says things like 'relationship goals'. It's the grumpy dragon who throws his cowboy's serape into the drier before he wakes up on rainy days, who indulges Jesse and tries coffees that will never meet his tastes. Who else but Hanzo would run around in the rain with him, and kiss him in the rain, or brush the wet hair out of his eyes and cry laughing in the rain. In his mind, there's nothing better.

So maybe Hanzo is the one who lies on top of Jesse's chest and lets the cowboy card his fingers through his hair on movie nights, and maybe he's the one falls asleep to the steady thrum of his heartbeat. It might be Hanzo who wears silly matching shirts with Jesse, just to make him happy, but perhaps it's Hanzo who buys them matching kigurumis, and maybe Jesse lies to his brother about it for him. Hanzo could possibly be the one who sleeps in the other's arms, and there's a chance that Hanzo is the one that drools in his sleep, but Jesse loves him anyway.

Hanzo is _definitely_ the one who steals Jesse's snacks from the fridge and challenges him to come get them, but _Jesse_ is the one stealing chocolate flavored kisses. Hanzo is the one who likes taking long baths, and maybe is the one who wears eyeliner daily just because his cowboy likes it. Maybe Hanzo doesn't smoke and never will, but he certainly doesn't mind the taste of the heady smoke when it's coming off of Jesse's lips.  And in Hanzo's opinion, nothing has ever made him laugh so hard as the faces the team made when they first kissed in public. Hanzo is absolutely smitten with this man.

Everything is so much better then it used to be, because the hyper reality of the dreams that hunted him have become duller. The once vivid colors now muted by the glimmer of fond mischief in Jesse's eyes. The ringing noises drowned out by the golden, sunlight sound of Jesse's laugh. They still come, but Hanzo knows that they always will. Everything is _better_ then it used to be. _He_ is better then he used to be. Jesse brings out the good in him. And every day he finds himself falling deeper in love with the goofy, loving, handsome man.

Peace is easier now that he has people to share it with, Hanzo thinks, and so are the quiet moments in between missions. Those stolen seconds with the whole team, some terrible action movie playing, where he can sit in comfortable silence and read. There a little snippets of domesticity- people sharing the food they cooked with him, laughing behind his hand as Reinhardt uses Lucio and Hana as his weights, screams of "Does anyone know where I put my...?", slipping on the slick and polished Gibraltar floors until someone takes pity on him and purchases a pair of socks with grips on the bottom.

There's nothing quite like painting the blooming flowers- and the golden streaks in the cowboy's hair, or that one time Jesse insisted they go kite flying in the spring. Nothing so sweet as lying in the cool grass, head in his husband's lap as they gaze up at the stars, or letting Jesse hand feed him strawberries in the summer time. Nothing like cooking each other dinner, and walking hand in hand down a path gabled by trees shedding vibrant leaves of gold and striking crimson in the fall. Nothing like wearing hideous Christmas sweaters and drinking eggnog, or cuddling under a blanket by a crackling fire with a mug of tea in hand during the winter cold.

It's nice, Hanzo thinks, to finally belong somewhere. Nicer still to feel so incredibly wanted. Even better are the hours of angry shouting with his brother, the ones that ended in tears, hashing out old hurts until they fade away like snowflakes in the heat. So things are better there, too, better even then when they were little children in Hanamura. Hanzo had been stiff and formal even then, personality stifled under their father's ever-watchful eye. Unlearning the things he'd been taught is difficult. But they are different people now. Older and sadder, but wiser.

Nothing can be as it was, but then again, Hanzo wouldn't want it to be. Genji has... _forgiven_ him, something he doesn't think he could ever deserve. He says as much to the meddling cowboy, the one who spurred on their reconciliation in the first place, and this is what the scruffy man says: "Hell, maybe you're right. Maybe you never will. But Genji forgives you anyways, so you'd best not be disrespectin' him by carryin' on like he hasn't." And so maybe he cannot forgive himself, and maybe he never will, but _Genji_ _can_ and that is enough.

That's not to say things are perfect. They aren't; perfection is unattainable, impossible. Sometimes Hanzo slips up and drinks himself into a blind stupor. Sometimes Jesse goes into a weird space and has panic attacks. They both have nightmares, hideous nightmares that leave them shaken and afraid. There are times when Hanzo gets too sharp with Genji, and both of them wallow for a week before making up. Sometimes Genji says something scathing and Hanzo finds he can't breathe. They aren't perfect, they're human. All they can do is try their best to make it through this life.  But Jesse makes it easy- they make it easy for each other.

They aren't perfect, but they're as close as Hanzo thinks anyone could ever get.

A hot hand settles on his thigh, and Hanzo jolts. The silvery glow of moonlight filters through the thin curtains, bathing everything in its pale light. He'd been transfixed again. Jesse wiggles closer, pressing against him from behind. His scruffy beard scratches gently at Hanzo's shoulder as he buries his face into his neck. "Hanzo?" the cowboy croaks sleepily, planting a kiss on his neck that makes him smile gently. "I am only thinking, Jesse," he murmurs, turning his head to kiss his Jesse's head. _His_ Jesse- that's a thought he liked getting used to. "About what?" What else could it be but Jesse?

Hanzo just hums, letting his eyes slip closed once more. "About myself. And... about you, as well," the dragon offers eventually, letting himself get lost in Jesse at his back. He can feel to ridiculous man grinning against him, and that grounds him to the present. "Well, there's plenty of time for that in the mornin', darlin', I promise." Jesse's accent is thicker when he's sleepy, and Hanzo can't help but huff a laugh. "Go back to sleep, Hanzo," his partner says "I won't let you go." And it's easy to believe him, because Hanzo couldn't imagine letting Jesse go.

"Good night," he says tentatively, feeling all previous tenseness leave him as he rolls over to press his face to Jesse's collarbone. "Sleep tight." Oh, now this was a ridiculous saying. Hanzo smiles helplessly into Jesse's soft cotton t-shirt as Jesse finishes. "Don't let the bedbugs bite." And then, with a sleepy chuckle, the most wonderful man in the world wraps him up in a hug. When Jesse's breathing evens out again, Hanzo pulls away just so he can see his face. "I love you," he says like a whisper on the wind, and the moonlight shines through the thin curtains onto Jesse's face. "I love you too, Hanzo," his cowboy sighs without even opening his eyes "Now go to sleep."

And so he does. Sleep does not come easily to Hanzo Shimada, not any more, but peace is easier then it has been in many long years thanks to his scruffy, ridiculous, handsome, perfect cowboy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've never written anything but gen fic before jesus i hope this was okay
> 
> (I just want my sons to be happy together)


	2. Concerning Kigurumis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It might be Jesse who buys them the silly matching t-shirts, but perhaps it's Hanzo who buys them kigurumis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Batoid made art!!! For this!!! which is in the chapter, but also here: http://batoid.tumblr.com/image/149773456398
> 
> It's beautiful and I love u Bat

Jesse had a habit of purchasing them matching outfits. Whether he thought it was cute or something else entirely, they had several outfits that Hanzo indulged him with frequently. Because his husband didn't ask him for much, and if silly t-shirts were one of the few things he wanted then Hanzo was loathe to deny him. It was such a simple request after all, and frankly if Jesse wanted matching shirts that said Mr. and Mr. with the date of their anniversary underneath then he could have them. But this was something else entirely. It was so unlike Hanzo to do something like this. But just thinking of how happy Jesse was going to be swayed his purchase.

The first part was hard- he knew he wanted to get them something that matched, but he didn't know _what_ he wanted. This wasn't usually the type of thing he did. Hanzo couldn't spend hours just looking at hundreds of pictures of couple's t-shirts the way Jesse could. His husband loved things like this, which was why he was even doing it in the first place. And the first step was choosing what kind of clothing he wanted for them. It was surprisingly difficult, and Hanzo had never realized just how much thought Jesse must have put into all of those silly shirts. For a second he felt like someone was squeezing his heart with a vice, and he sighed. He had a newfound appreciation for his husband's ridiculous outfits.

And then in an instant Hanzo knew what he was looking for.

Admittedly, Hanzo spent an embarrassing amount of time just scrolling through the options. His had been relatively easy to find, since he knew what he was looking for. But for Jesse's... there were a couple he was considering when he saw _the one_. He knew it was the one he wanted Jesse in the second his eyes landed on it. Clicking the button was not nearly as hard as he would have thought it would be. Paying for the things was easy, too. The waiting, however, was a different story entirely. Hanzo was on edge for a week, desperate to make sure he was the one who got the package and not Jesse. It was a surprise, after all, and he didn't want this one ruined.

On the day the things are supposed to arrive Jesse is out on a lunch run, so Hanzo was having his tea in peace. Nothing to worry about, if his husband isn't even home. Half an hour later, as Jesse was putting the take-out down on one of the counters, Genji came rushing in. "Hanzo," his brother gasps, skidding on the cool tiles "you _didn't_." In his hands is a box, the top already opened. _No_. Later on, Hanzo will guess that it was his face that gave him away- the look of shocked horror was extremely incriminating. "You _did_!" Genji laughs, setting the box on the table in front of him. Jesse leans over his shoulder to see what's in the box and jerks back immediately, beaming at Hanzo.

The kigurumis in the box aren't identical, but there are very clearly two of them. "I love 'em!" Jesse sighs, giving him the dopiest smile in the world. Hanzo is nearly crushed by the thought of just how much this man loves him. His warm brown eyes are pinched by his broad smile, and the love there is intense. "Stupid cowboy," he says blithely even as he screams of embarrassment internally "of course you do! You're the one that ordered them after all." It's a testament to just how well Jesse knows him that he doesn't react outwardly. "Oh! Oh, yeah, well," Jesse says, and despite how much Hanzo adores him he is struck with the sudden and intense need to bang his head on the table.

Genji lets out a strange hissing noise at the sound of Jesse's voice. But Jesse just reaches into the box and pulls the kigurumis out, still smiling at Hanzo like he'd given the man the world. Hanzo is hyper aware of the flush slowly crawling up his neck as his husband unfolds his kigurumi. It's corgi themed, complete with a little face on the hood and tiny little floof of a tail on the back. "So, _Jesse_ ," Genji says conversationally as he examines the pyjamas "are you happy with... 'your' purchase?" Hanzo doesn't need to hear the quotations, because Genji actually makes them in the air with his fingers.

Jesse beams at his stupid, meddling brother and says "Oh, absolutely!" and when Genji tilts his head towards Hanzo he wishes a hole would open up in the ground and swallow him whole. There's a brief silence during which his sweet, stupid cowboy just fingers the soft fabric delightedly, shooting him pleased glances. For an instant, Hanzo can drown out his utter debasement with a wave of love for this wonderful man. He's so easy to please, and this simple thing Hanzo has done has made him so _happy_. And that was all that he'd wanted from this anyway. His husband smiles at him beatifically, and _this_ is why he did it.

"Oh, but _Jesse_ ," Genji says, and suddenly the moment is over and Hanzo realizes that he has never known true fear until now "what did you get for _Hanzo_?" All the while, Genji keeps his mask turned towards him. The pink of his embarrassed blush has climbed into his cheeks now, and is now threatening his ears. Jesse starts like he hasn't thought of that yet and immediately seizes the pale blue bundle like an excited child. Hanzo clenches a fist around his spoon so tightly that his knuckles creak and shuts his eyes tightly, sinking down in his chair.

Genji _shrieks_ when Jesse unfolds his kigurumi, but his husband coos appreciatively. " _Hanzo_ ," Jesse whispers gently, holding up the dragon pajamas. They're a soft blue, the hood with a cutesy face and a _snout_ , plus the tail hanging down on the back topped with tiny felt spikes. It's perfect, and he's sure Jesse is very pleased with his present, but Genji is on the floor spasming and writhing with laughter. " _Brother_ ," he wheezes in between peals of laughter "brother, _oh my god!_ " The soft pink flush turns into an angry red blush of mortification. But the humiliation is worth it when Jesse kisses the bridge of his nose and wraps him in a hug.

"Oh, Hanzo, _thank you_ ," the ridiculous man murmurs, smiling uncontrollably into Hanzo's hair. It's all worth it.

Later that night- and the delivery could not possibly have been better timed- he tries his on. The fabric is wonderfully soft and oh so cozy, but breezy enough that he won't overheat. Hanzo knows he looks a bit ridiculous with the hood pulled up, and the tail must be something else, but Jesse just kisses him softly and says he looks perfect. On the other hand, Jesse is a vision. The pajamas soften out his hard, rugged edges, making him look... cuddly. And that scruffy face peeking out at him from under the hood is wonderful. Embarrassing though it may be, there isn't a bit of this that he regrets except Genji ruining the surprise.

"Are you ready?" Hanzo asks his cowboy, even as his sits down on the bed. The tail of his kigurumi splays out behind him gracelessly, prompting a chuckle from Jesse. "Yeah, let's just get your socks on and we can go." Oh, the socks. His metal feet did not do well with polished floors, and while it was annoying it didn't affect him enough to warrant working on them when other solutions were available. And so, to prevent Hanzo from slipping around in the halls like a baby deer on ice Jesse had purchased a pair of fuzzy socks with grips on the bottom.

By now, he had obtained several more pairs then the first one, so he was confident there would be at least _one_ pair that would match his outfit. Hanzo refused to wear the green and purple pair with a blue kigurumi. "Here we go!" Jesse grins as he pulls out a soft blue pair before rolling them up his feet. " _Now_ we can go," his husband says happily, and Hanzo shakes his head fondly. He lets Jesse pull him to his feet and they walk out the door hand in hand. The socks on his feet stick ever so slightly to the floors and peel off with the tiniest sound. To an untrained ear it was almost unnoticeable, but to his brother it would be like he'd sent a herald before him shouting his name for all to hear.

Genji didn't always come to movie night- sometimes he didn't care for the film, sometimes he didn't want to deal with the crowd, and sometimes he was just busy. But as they passed his door, Hanzo heard the blankets rustle as he bolted upright and he knew his brother would be there tonight. Overwatch movie night was not an official thing- it was more that the youngest three liked to watch classic movies on Friday nights and everyone else just gathered around. By the sounds of it, they were already arguing the finer points of Star Wars or Star Trek.

As soon as he and Jesse entered the room, whoever was currently on the couch would immediately move to another spot. That was their spot on movie night, and it was universally understood that they'd be using it. There's no door to the rec room, so they just walk in. Hana, Lucio, and Lena are squabbling on the couch, unsure of which movie they want. The few movies they've narrowed it down to are spread out in a fan on the coffee table. Hanzo coughs expectantly and they slide off of the couch without a fight. Hana turns her head to ask their opinion and promptly squeals.

"Ah! They're so cute!" she gasps delightedly, grinning at them broadly. Hanzo's cheeks pink softly, but Jesse just laughs and agrees with her. Hana jabbers with his husband excitedly, cooing and fussing appreciatively over his garb. A wave of pride washes over Hanzo, just to see the scruffy cowboy so happy over his gift. "Do they come in frog?" Lucio asks from his side, and it's only his training that keeps him from jumping. Hanzo only nods, but Lucio gives him a crooked grin. "Oh, hell yeah!" he cheers before returning to the argument with Lena.

"...Star Trek is preferable to Star Wars, but of your choices I would pick The Thirteenth Warrior," he offers quietly, and Hana cheers as Lena throws her hands up. Lucio shoots him a relieved glance, crisis averted. "But _why_?" Lena whines unhappily, speaking of Star Wars, and Hanzo says "Because Antonio Banderas is, what is it that you say? Hot," just to throw them off. Jesse chokes on air before sputtering indignantly. Hana howls with laughter, but Lucio and Lena just stare at him open-mouthed. His husband shoots him a wounded look, but as soon as he catches sight of the tight line of Hanzo's mouth and the crinkled eyes _he_ laughs too.

Finally Hanzo can't take it anymore so he throws his head back and roars. Their faces were priceless- eyes widened comically, eyebrows raised to their hairlines, mouths gaping. It was too much. He had taken a calculated risk, and it had gone _beautifully_. He's still laughing when Genji skids in, feet sliding along the floors with the ease of years of practice. He promptly cackles at the sight of Hanzo and Jesse, wearing their soft new kigurumis. "Oh, hey Genji!" Jesse says pleasantly as he flops down onto their couch and gets comfortable. Genji stills in surprise, watching Hanzo cuddle on top of Jesse and rest his head on his chest. "Oh no," Hanzo hears his brother whisper as he curls his fingers into the fabric of Jesse's outfit "that's so cute."

The rest of the group who plans to be at the unofficial movie night filters in- Reinhardt, Soldier 76, Zenyatta. Some of the team are gone on missions, and some like Winston and Mercy are too busy to attend. Roadhog and Junkrat, for example, are with Winston tonight, testing some new gadget or another Winston has made for them. All of the lights dim automatically, Athena's work, as the movie starts. Hanzo watches lazily, Jesse's rough fingers running through his hair. Somewhere mid-way, when Lucio pauses so he can make more popcorn, the Junkers wander in.

Hanzo doesn't care much, dozing on his husband's chest, but he whines quietly when Lucio passes by so that Jesse snags him some popcorn. Jesse ends up having to feed it to him because he's feeling too sleepy to do it himself. The tired dragon just nuzzles his chest in thanks before settling again. Antonio Banderas is doing his thing on-screen, fighting cannibals with his viking cohorts, but even though Hanzo is staring at the screen he isn't really watching the movie anymore. A steady heartbeat in his ear and a gentle hand in his hair are lulling him to sleep.

"Jess," he murmurs, and the man hums fondly "Jess, love you." For a minute Hanzo feels his chest clench painfully, because it's so true it hurts. Hana coos appreciatively from her place in front of the table. "I love you too, Hanzo," Jesse sighs, thumb tracing lazy circles on the back of his neck. Hanzo smiles into the fabric of his cowboy's ridiculous kigurumi. It's a good purchase; it's making his Jesse so happy, and the soft fabric feels nice against his skin. He tries to worm even closer, wonderfully comfortable, and takes a deep breath.

"Jess, I love you," he says again, but this time when his cowboy tries to respond he cuts him off. "You are my best friend," Hanzo murmurs, and Jesse's breath catches in his throat "and my husband." The hand cradling the back of his head tightens ever so slightly as his words hit home. "You are my sunrise and my sunset," he continues dozily, inhibitions lowered "my morning song and my kiss good night." Jesse's fingers tighten their grip, keeping him close. His best friend heaves a silent sob, practically trembling with emotion. "Jesse, I _love_ you."

In Hanzo's professional opinion, there was no better way to fall asleep then on Jesse's chest. What could beat the sleepsong of that steady, dependable thrum of his heartbeat, or the loving rock of his chest rising and falling with his breathing? How could he possibly be afraid of nightmares with his cowboy so close by, arms wrapped around him so wonderfully? The simple answer is that there's nothing better, and he can't be afraid with Jesse there to remind him of how completely _loved_ he is. He nuzzles the ultra soft fabric of his husband's kigurumi one more time, and when sleep weighs heavy on him he doesn't fight it.

After all; Jesse will carry him to bed, just like he always does. Hanzo falls asleep smiling.

The next morning, Genji teases him relentlessly about the pajamas. Of _course_ he wasn't convinced by Jesse's terrible lie- he wouldn't have been fooled at six years old. But then again, not even Jesse had believed it for a second. Still, for all the poking and laughing he does, Hanzo knows he'll have the last laugh. And he's right: three days later, when another box comes in the mail, Genji hides and cries like a baby for three hours when he finds a _third_ kigurumi inside. This one is a green dragon. As far as gifts go, it's a pretty good one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, I felt the extreme need for both kigus and more mchanzo fluff. I have literally no excuse for this, but here it is.
> 
> Jesse's kigu: http://kigurumi-shop.com/corgi-kigurumi.aspx
> 
> Hanzo's kigu: http://www.aliexpress.com/item/Blue-Dragon-Dinosaur-Unisex-Pajamas-Cosplay-Costume-Adult-Onesie-Pyjama-Sleepwear-Pajamas-Sets-For-Women-Lady/32471827556.html


	3. McWedding

It all begins with Jesse. It all begins with the rugged looking cowboy somehow worming his way into Hanzo's heart. The man who makes him smile like nothing else, laugh like he never has before in his entire life, who makes him so wonderfully happy. Jesse, who seems to revel in seeing him that way, tender little smile blooming on his face. Maybe he should have seen it coming, should have seen it in the way he lost time with him. Should have seen it when his laughter became like gold to his ears, or when that smile lit up his day for the first time. It should have been so obvious.

But it happens so slightly, so quietly that Hanzo had never had a chance. It makes him... _happy_ , so happy he doesn't understand it. Just being in love with Jesse makes him happy. It sends his heart soaring like a foolish teen with their first crush. Jesse calls him beautiful for the first time, and Hanzo _runs_. He hides for hours on end, face pink with glee and an immovable smile on his face, desperately trying to keep that distinctly _wiggly_ feeling at bay. Being in love with Jesse feels like his chest is too small for how much he's feeling. And he hadn't even known.

There are moments when he starts to wonder, when he thinks 'just maybe'. Moments like when the pet names Jesse sticks him with become endearing instead of annoying- though he would never admit it. When 'Darlin' makes him feel warm all over for the first time. When Jesse finds him stony faced and alone in the dark, body shaking from the aftermath of a nightmare, and doesn't ridicule him. It's that nearly undrinkable cup of tea, made by someone to make him feel better. It's quietly, gently in that moment he realizes Jesse made him dinner to eat in his room to avoid any birthday festivities that might occur.

Hanzo drinks down that soft, clinking-forks moment like a man lost in the desert. And it hits him suddenly, but sweetly. Some liken it to a brick wall, or a train hitting, but in reality it's nothing like that at all. Just an abrupt 'oh' moment, and then a sense of fulfilment. Because Jesse could be _anywhere_ else with _anyone_ else, but instead he's with _Hanzo_. Instead of anything else he might be doing right now, the scruffy cowboy is sitting here eating in comfortable silence. With Hanzo. Not with his brother, who never finds it hard to speak, or with Lucio who always tries to be pleasant, or with the original members of Overwatch who he has known for years. Jesse actively chooses to seek _him_ out.

He finds himself staring, wondering how he hadn't noticed before. All of those tiny little details are utterly familiar to him. That happy crinkle of his eyes when he spots Hanzo, the little twitch of his nose when he tries not to laugh. All of those breath-taking strands of gold that shine through his messy brown mane in the sunlight. Even the way he angles his body towards Hanzo as he speaks is familiar. It isn't like in the movies, where suddenly Jesse is gorgeous. Simply the fact that Hanzo has become so close to him without ever noticing the slow slide into unfamiliar territory.

And he has fallen so _deeply_ into loving Jesse that he can't claw his way back out, not even if he actually _wanted_ to. So as the night wears on, Hanzo feels light. Light hearted, light headed- there's no difference to him. It's in between sips of shared cinnamon roll vodka that Hanzo decides. His hands are shaking, his heart pounding as he turns toward Jesse. He sets the bottle down, and before the other man can say a word he darts in and kisses him. He's afraid for a moment, because the cowboy is totally slack against him, but then that stupid roguish grin starts spreading.

He tastes like cinnamon sugar and alcohol, and he smiles too hard to kiss him back. It might start with Jesse, but it ends with Hanzo laughing his rusty laugh.

Just a few months later, it starts again with Hanzo kissing Jesse good-morning, and Hanzo holding his hand. With Hanzo crawling into bed with Jesse for the first time, smiling into a soft t-shirt at the other's giddy wiggle. At the time, there was nothing that could beat the easy feeling of safety and trust that that simple action brought Hanzo. Waking up wrapped in both blankets and a pair of strong arms nearly sends him reeling, that funny wiggly feeling he'd avoided months before returning full force. He rolls over, burying his face into the nape of Jesse's neck, and goes back to sleep.

It's all Hanzo this time- Jesse is still as patient and loving as he ever was. This time, Hanzo is the one spoiling Jesse. He lets the other drag him to see romantic comedies, holds his hand whenever they walk together, makes him laugh by attempting his accent. Jesse is the one the others see, but it's all Hanzo this time. Genji laughs at them when he finds them doing crosswords and cipher puzzles. "I have never known you to be so... _indulgent_ , brother," he prods in fluid Japanese. Hanzo stares at him until he leaves, chuckling, and proceeds to teach Jesse as many Japanese swears as he can. The accent needs some work, but the surprised way Genji holds himself that first time is worth it.

Now, instead of reading or drinking the evenings away, they finish coloring books and watch awful ancient western movies. Hanzo laughs brightly when Jesse quotes them- "Don't much like quitters, son,"- and lets the other pull him into things he wouldn't otherwise like. For Jesse, he drinks coffees he _knows_ he won't like, and kisses his hands, and asks what he wants for dinner. And Jesse is his defender. The cowboy keeps conversations away from dangerous topics, and keeps the nightmares at bay, and buys those obnoxiously colored socks to stop his constant slipping and falling.

It's Hanzo who trusts Jesse enough to fall asleep on the rec room's couch, and when he wakes up covered in a red and gold serape he smiles gently as he fingers the fabric. When Jesse gets angry, he makes mac 'n cheese to keep calm, and Hanzo eats it with him in silence. He ends up making mac 'n cheese a lot when they guest star of Hana's streams, because he never wins. But he's always gracious about it, and eventually an emote gets added to the chat for when Jesse rage-quits. It's a bowl of mac 'n cheese. Hanzo laughs and laughs, and kisses Jesse's forehead, and laughs until his sides are splitting.

It starts again with Hanzo, and it finishes with Jesse. Jesse takes him down to the seaside, holding hands along a winding dirt path. They make their way across a huge, flat rock and dangle their bare feet off of the edge as they watch the sunset. Jesse hands him a covered mug of tea as they watch the moon rise over the glassy evening sea, and Hanzo leans against him. It's drinkable, and the sheer effort involved in that nearly brings tears to his eyes. As the moon climbs high in the sky, Jesse lays his head in Hanzo's lap, and suddenly everything is perfect.

Jesse is perfect, the weather is perfect, the rapidly cooling tea is perfect. He is so hopelessly in love with this man, and he doesn't want to give that up. And why would he, when his heart feels complete? Why would he want to give up terrible tea and scratchy beards when they make him so endlessly _happy_? He wants to live with this man. He wants to grow old with this man, and die happy. Because he _loves_ Jesse, so much that it fills him up, and he _never_ wants to let him go. Not now and not _ever_. So he bends down, hair falling in Jesse's face.

It starts with Hanzo, and ends with Jesse crying when he says "Jesse, I want to be with you forever." He spends the night cuddled in Jesse's arms, rough fingers in his hair. The stars are uncountable in their twinkling number, the moon is full and silvery, and Jesse is kissing him. It's not even a week later, on that same rock overlooking the sea, that Jesse asks Hanzo for his hand in marriage. Hanzo bawls.

"Hanzo," Genji says quietly, as solemn as he has ever seen his brother "It's time." Hanzo is painfully aware of his trembling hands, of how very _vulnerable_ he must look. This is the most nerve-wracking thing he's ever experienced. Everything that's happened in the past few months has been leading up to _today_ , and now that the time has come Hanzo isn't sure that he's ready. Genji's hand lands on his shoulder, gentle but firm. Hanzo nods in silence, and lets his younger brother lead him out the door. The hall is empty- of course it is, every one is preparing for the wedding. _His_ _and Jesse's_ wedding.

He looks ready on the surface, he knows. The grey suit jacket paired with the deep blue vest and matching tie- his colors, of course- are dashing. For a second, Hanzo considers buttoning the jacket and leaving just a hint of the blue vest on display. Ultimately, he decides not to. Jesse likes to see him in blue, after all. With his facial hair neatly trimmed and shaped, his eyes lined perfectly, and his hair up in a tight bun at the back of his head, he looks ready. Anyone who didn't know him would certainly think so. Genji isn't 'anyone'. His hand is a steadying weight on Hanzo's shoulder even still. Finally he understands what Jesse means when he says "butterflies in my stomach," because it really does feel that way. Like tiny, fluttering wings in his belly.

The walk to the seaside- to their rock- takes just fifteen minutes once they get out the door. He hasn't seen Jesse all day, and the next time he does will be their _marriage_. As they approach the door, it opens with a swish and the brothers step into the sinking sunlight. It's the perfect day for this, really, with not a cloud in sight. The sky is a portrait of brilliant reds and oranges in bold swathes across it's entire expanse, fading into the soft blue of the evening as it climbs further upward. It really _is_ beautiful, and if he wasn't engaged in something so much more important Hanzo would probably stop to paint it. A once in a life-time sunset for a once in a life-time night.

As the earth along the path gradually gives way to stone, Hanzo feels his heart soar and his stomach plummet. He is getting married in less then an hour. It was something he had never even dared to dream of as a child, and in less then an hour Jesse was going to be his _husband_. Genji leads him ever onward, so gently, and he can't help the shuddering breath that he gives. The rock on which the evening's event is to take place is huge, flattened by hundreds if not thousands of years of the rushing waves running over it. There are divots and dips to be avoided, of course, but there is no true danger here.

All of the chairs are already set up, low-burning lanterns at each end of the rows. Near the very edge of the rock is the arch, decorated in fairy lights and ribbons of gold and white. Zenyatta waves at them as they approach, and Genji waves back with his free hand. Both of Hanzo's stay clenched at his sides, trying to hide their trembling. The sun has almost vanished, deep blues taking over the whole sky. The very edge of the full moon is starting to rise over the water already. His heart is pounding, drowned out by the lazy hush of the little waves. It's beautiful weather.

As the moon finally climbs all the way over the horizon, everyone who was going to come arrives. Hanzo makes empty small talk with Zenyatta, who indulges him tolerantly, as he tries to quash his nervousness. To everyone who isn't Jesse or Genji, he looks calm. The reality of the situation is that he's about to fall apart. He wants this so very badly, and yet... Taking a deep breath, he lets the emotion roll off of his shoulders. When he hears that golden laugh, he knows it's almost time. Almost time to give his whole heart to Jesse for as long as he wants it.

Hanzo is unable to resist the the temptation of looking towards Jesse as he approaches. His heart is racing in his chest as he turns his gaze from Zenyatta to his soon-to-be husband, and his heart skips a beat in awe. He is nothing short of a vision of beauty, his grey suit is turned silver by the moonlight and the white gold vest brings out his handsome brown eyes. The lanterns on the ground cast a warm glow, and Hanzo feels his heart stop. Jesse is always handsome, but with his hair up in a small ponytail- not a single strand out of place- and his bangs swept to one side? He steals Hanzo's breath away.

Suddenly, he feels lesser. He can't help but think that this man deserves so much better then what Hanzo could ever offer him. But that isn't his decision, it's Jesse's. And despite his countless flaws and faults, this perfect man has chosen him. Jesse _wants_ him. Not anyone else but _him_. And that just astonishes him. Hanzo feels his heart swell in his chest, and he can't help the broad smile from blooming on his face. His perfect fiancé looks to him and beams brightly, those warm brown eyes crinkling fondly. In an instant, his nervousness melts away.

When Jesse steps up to them, taking his hands, Hanzo's vision tunnels. Whatever Zenyatta is saying is totally lost on his ears, and he's only even peripherally aware of the soft smile spreading on his face. Soon enough, Jesse will be his and he will be Jesse's. Here they are, together, moon acting as a silvery halo behind their heads. Time slows, it seems, and Hanzo knows that there could never be another. Jesse is his all. Hanzo almost doesn't hear Zenyatta prompting them to exchange vows. He had prepared his vows beforehand, of course, but now that the time is here... They feel insufficient.

He tosses them aside, all of those useless, flowery words, and for the first time says what he feels instead. It's as though they are the only two people in the world. "Jesse," he breathes, star-struck and starry-eyed "It was as though I spent ten years in the dark of the night." His cowboy, no longer so scruffy, inhales abruptly before licking his lips. "But then, I met you. And you became my sun." Hanzo can't help the tiny tears rushing to his eyes, utterly consumed by just how much he loves his soon-to-be husband. "You are the light of my life." Jesse chokes on a shuddering breath, smiling through a sheen of tears that do not fall.

"And so all that I am, faults and flaws, belongs to you. Forever more." his voice is soft, adoring, and the moon and sea bear witness to his vow even as they carry it to the heavens. Jesse swallows down his tears as Hanzo slides a golden band on his ring finger. He's smiling, not that mischievous crooked grin he usually gives, but a tender little thing. He's so beautiful that Hanzo almost can't stand to look at him. In his joy, he's positively radiant. "Hanzo," Jesse says gently, running his thumb over Hanzo's knuckles like he does when he's nervous.

"I've never been good with words, not like you are." Jesse doesn't need to be- Hanzo hears what he wants to say loud and clear, no matter what words he uses. "But, Hanzo, if I am the sun?" Hanzo is smiling that secret little I-love-you smile and rubbing Jesse's wedding ring as he waits with bated breath. "Then you are every star that whirls around in the endless night sky," the other man reaches up to cup one of his cheeks, rough thumb brushing away a stray tear. Hanzo swallows a sob. "Because, without you I am alone. And what is the sun without her planets?"

"Hanzo, I love you." Jesse finishes, bending his head to kiss him as he slips the matching golden ring onto Hanzo's finger. "I do," they both say, and Zenyatta pronounces them married. With the moon as a halo about their heads, hands clasped tight and vows exchanged, they have their first kiss as husbands. As they separate, a loud sob breaks the hush of the waves. Hanzo's head whips around, eyes scanning. Jack is surreptitiously drying a few tears, Mercy leaning heavily on Pharah, Ana is stoic and stony faced under his gaze- except for a few stray tears.

Another heaving sobs rends the peaceful atmosphere, and this time Hanzo catches the culprit. It's _Genji_ , propped against a quietly weeping Reinhardt's arm and sobbing into his hands, face-plate up. Zenyatta floats over and lays a steady hand on one shoulder, but he just bawls louder. "Brother," he gasps between great, heaving sobs "I'm so _happy_ for you! _Congratulations_!" And then he dissolves into unintelligible sobs as they make their way back to the base. The chairs and the arch will be cleaned up tomorrow. Tonight is for festivities.

Hanzo's heart is soaring as he walks hand in hand with _his husband_. As the stone fades into dirt path again, they kiss once more with the moon and the sea at their backs.

The reception is in full swing by the time they make their way back, Torbjorn and Reinhardt already into the wine. Hana and Lucio pepper Hanzo with rice, so he hurls his corsage at them. Genji seems to have stemmed his tears, Zenyatta hovering as a silent support by his side. Their cake is just a simple three layer wedding cake, with intricate criss-crossing lines of white, dotted with sugar pearls at the places they meet. But the plastic figures on top are priceless. A little cowboy and archer stand side by side, colorful garb brilliant against the white cake.

Jesse cups his hands and they cut a slice together before leaving the job to Genji. Said job is completed in all of thirty seconds. As his husband turns to grab a glass of champagne, Hanzo taps his shoulder. When Jesse turns around, he smashes a slice of cake into his mouth. Before Jesse can protest, Hanzo chases the cake and kisses him again as everyone laughs and cheers. Genji sobs again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. 
> 
> I'm thinking this for Jesse's suit: http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/SIRRI-Page-Boys-Formal-Beige-Gold-Wedding-Suit-5PC-Boys-Grey-Suit-Age-1-to-15-/291372237611
> 
> And this one for Hanzo: http://i.ebayimg.com/images/i/141721560474-0-1/s-l1000.jpg (but not a bow tie)


	4. Identity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Do I know you?"

"Do I know you?" Jesse asks lightly, feigning confusion when he sees Hanzo for the first time in three days. He, Genji, and Ana had been gone on a reconnaissance mission for their next operation. Hanzo is dirty, hungry, and exhausted. _Usually_ , he has plenty of energy for Jesse's little jokes. But this time, he was simply too tired to want to play along. "Yes, Jesse, I would hope so," he says blithely, exhausted "since I _am_ your _husband_ , and all." The cowboy tips his head back and laughs like sunlight, kissing the bridge of his nose and cutting through the grouchy haze with the ease of practice. Hanzo can't keep in the tiny huff of laughter, eyes closing as he smiles gently.

His ridiculous husband smacks his own forehead dramatically as he steps away. "Of _course_ ," Jesse groans, brown eyes crinkling fondly, "How could I forget? Thank _god_ I have you here to remind me, Sweetpea." With another tiny laugh, Hanzo rolls his eyes fondly as he tucks himself into the taller man. Two strong arms wrap around him and a scruffy chin rests on his head. He sighs happily, tension draining away in an instant. Letting out a soft grumble, he lets his husband lead him to their shared bathroom. "You need a bath before you get into bed, Hanzo," Jesse murmurs, a steadying hand reaching across his back to his settle on his right hip.

Stripping is a quick, uneventful task for the both of them, full of good natured snipes and jibes. Jesse fumbling with the tub as Hanzo slips into the shower, cleaning away the dust, dirt, and sweat. "Did anything interesting happen while I was away?" he calls, massaging shampoo into his scalp and grimacing when the foam comes away grey with grime. Maybe a second wash, he muses. "Nah," Jesse answers over the rush of the water, and then after a pause, " _Actually_ , Lucio beat Hana at a game and neither of them can figure out how. It's pretty funny- they keep trying to recreate the moment so they can reverse engineer it."

Hanzo snorts, smiling fondly as he cleans and rinses his hair yet again. When the soap foam comes away clean, he sets to conditioning as he scrubs his body with a wash cloth. "Mostly, it's been pretty boring without you here," the cowboy continues, closer to the shower this time. As soon as he's clean, he steps out onto the cold tiles with a shiver. "So, 'stranger'," he jokes gently, pressing another kiss to the top of Hanzo's now clean head, "lavender bath bomb, or chamomile?" He says he doesn't care, that Jesse can pick and both are just fine by him. Jesse makes a happy noise.

If you had asked Hanzo just two years ago, he would have told you that a person couldn't be home in an instant. Now, with Jesse drawing a bath for them both, he knows better.  A soft plunk tells him that the bath bomb is in the water, and the slosh says that Jesse is, too. The water is burning hot, just the way he likes it, bringing a red flush to his skin immediately. He slides in, settling in between Jesse's legs and leaning back against his chest. "Jess, I missed you," Hanzo murmurs, eyes locked on the fizzing bath bomb. Ah, lavender. The scent of it comforts him.

Already he feels at home, eyes slipping closed as he relaxes into his husband. "I missed you, too, Hanzo." That voice is music to his ears after going so long without it. He smiles at the feeling of Jesse's thumb on his cheek, stroking gentle circles into his skin. Oh, he's missed this. All of the intimacy, the love, that strange innocence in the romance that they share- he _missed_ it. In just three days time, he's missed Jesse so _much_ that he can't imagine leaving him ever again. And judging by the cowboy's tight grip on his hand, Jesse can't conceive it, either.

He turns without thinking about it, settling his ear over Jesse's heart, fingers tangled together. The familiar sound of the beat is a special kind of perfection, lulling him to the very fringes of consciousness. The water is hot, the lavender smells wonderful, and the most perfect man in the world is here with him. Hanzo could live a thousand years, but without Jesse they would be hollow. After all, home is where the heart is. An hour later, when the water is finally cooling down enough to be unpleasant, they towel each other dry before retreating to bed. The blankets are cool to the touch, and blissfully soft.

Pulling on some boxers, Hanzo pulls one of his husband's t-shirts from the drawer. He wanders back into the bathroom as he tugs it on, cleaning his teeth beside Jesse. They stand hip to hip for a bit, before the cowboy gently runs a brush through his tangled hair. When it finally goes through without snagging, Hanzo pats it a bit drier before pulling it into a tight braid so it doesn't muss in his sleep. Jesse chuckles lowly, kissing his temple. He grimaces a bit as the scruffy beard scratches his cheeks, but he doesn't really mean it. Together, they shuffle awkwardly into the next room, Hanzo refusing to let go of him. When the finally settle under the sheets, Jesse holds him close all night long.

The next time it happens, just a few days later, Hanzo is in a much better mood. At the time, he's making noodles for lunch in the kitchen. Busying himself over the stove, he almost doesn't hear Jesse come in. Thankfully for Hanzo's reputation, his spurs give him away. "Jesse," He says mildly, expecting something along the lines of a mopey 'how did you know it was me?' The man walks right up to him, settling his hands on Hanzo's hips and his chin on the top of his head. "Do I know you?" the man drawls, and even without looking at him, he can see the soft upturn of his lips.

Hanzo rolls his eyes fondly, turning the heat down low so he can look at Jesse. "Oh, no," he assures the man, "we've never met before." His husband grins down at him, smiling like the rogue he is. Back to the stove, he reaches around himself to stir the noodles so that they don't burn. "Well, then who are you?" Jesse teases, squeezing one of his hips playfully. With a tiny, secret smile, he swallows a laugh. "Oh, just a strange man who wandered in to use your kitchen appliances," Hanzo hums, craning his neck up to kiss Jesse. The other man laughs gently, arms wrapped around his middle.

"I'm making noodles," he tells his husband, turning back to the stove, "Do you want any?" Humming thoughtfully, Jesse shakes his head after a moment. Not today, Jesse says, and Hanzo nod understandingly. It's a very grey, rainy day, today, and the poor weather is making Jesse a little bit homesick. Hanzo just wants to finish the noodles and eat them, but instead he reaches down into the huge drawer at his knees and pulls out a pan. While it isn't something he usually makes, he relishes Jesse's childlike joy when he does. And today, with the silly cowboy moping around because of the dark skies...

"Do you want me to make you a grilled cheese?" Hanzo offers fondly, smiling when Jesse's back goes ramrod straight with excitement. "Yes!" his husband squeaks excitedly, flushing at his low chuckle, "I mean... Yes, Mr. Stranger using the kitchen appliances." Genji and Hana slide in, shouldering each other out of the way as they cackle excitedly. "I win!" they proclaim at the same time before whirling to face the other. "No, _I_ win!" both of them squawk indignantly. With an irritable huff, Hanzo tosses his hair. "I win," he says sternly, tone brooking no argument.

Genji snorts openly, immediately relaxing his shoulders in a careless manner. "And how do you figure _that_ , brother?" his younger brother challenges. Moving the noodles off of the heat, he sets the pot aside as he pulls some cheese and butter out. "Because," Hanzo says, proffering both Cheddar and American cheese to his husband before returning the rejected cheese to the fridge, "All I do is win, no matter what." Genji groans irritably, swearing. Hanzo thinks about holding in the laugh, but he doesn't bother. As he heats up beef broth and butters the bread, he resists looking at his brother and making a face. " _Please_ don't start with those absolutely _ancient_ memes," his brother pleads.

Tossing the sandwich into the hot pan, he thanks his past self for making to much in the noodle department. As the cheese melts and the bread toasts to a gorgeous golden brown, he pulls the steaming hot broth off of the heat just as it reaches a boil. Draining the water from the noodles and plating them, he hands Jesse his sandwich on a plate. The scruffy cowboy looks at him adoringly, brown eyes soft with love, and kisses him in thanks. Hana coos appreciatively, before gasping happily as Hanzo gives her a plate of noodles. "What about me?" Genji whines playfully, unclasping his faceplate with a mechanical hiss just to give him puppy eyes.

"One does not simply get things from me with  _that_ look," Hanzo practically purrs, eyes narrowing playfully. His brother groans in exaggerated misery, laying his cheek on the table. "Please, brother," Genji mock sobs, "I wanna eat _all_ the noodles!" That startles a laugh from him, Jesse smiling at him gently from behind his grilled cheese. After a short pause, broken only by the soft crunch of toasted bread and Hana slurping at her lunch in a taunting way, Genji sighs. "I can haz noddle?" he wheedles, lip jutting out in a faux pout. "Sure, Jan," Hanzo teases, hiding his ecstatic beam, and finally hands over the second plate. They eat in total silence, comfortable in it, and Hanzo thinks that he is a much happier man then he ever thought he could be.

It becomes a Thing between them, their little back and forth. It's fond and teasing, sweet and loving. A silly shared joke. Just a fun new way to greet each other. The next time it happens, Jesse is packing what little gear he can take with him on this mission. An undercover operation, the sort of thing the man was used to 'way back when' as he says. Hanzo is not assigned to go with him, this time. "Do I know you?" Jesse asks playfully as Hanzo ghosts into the room on silent feet. "Oh, no," Hanzo answers back, smiling at his husband affectionately. The cowboy hums thoughtfully, face shaved bare and hair trimmed short.

On his scruffy, loveable husband it looks nothing short of wrong. "Well then who are you?" he continues on, packing plain button-downs and dark slacks into a cardboard box. Hanzo feels his breath catch in his throat uncomfortably. This is the longest they'll have ever been apart, since becoming JesseandHanzo instead of Jesse and Hanzo. They were a team, now, a pair. Separate people but one unit- they were together, now, and for once Hanzo feels... something like fear and despair. "Just a thief, here to steal your serape," Hanzo says smoothly, nearly wincing at the crack in his voice.

Jesse turns to face him immediately, face softening in sympathy. "Oh, Hanzo," he sighs, stepping closer to wrap him up in a hug, "I'll be back before you know it, darlin'." He buries his nose in the nape of his husband's neck, taking in the calming scent of smoke, old leather, and the faintest hint of Hanzo's own lotion. It feels _wrong_ for him to leave without Hanzo. This is no three day mission, nothing so easily dealt with. Three days apart was uncomfortable at best, but this? Six months is an eternity. Even thinking about going that long without his cowboy makes him anxious.

Even the _sight_ of him is off, now that he looks so clean and neat. He looks average, forgettable, which is the point. But it feels so wrong for his larger-then-life husband to seem so _mundane_. Jesse had complained vociferously about the dress restrictions, but in the end it didn't matter. He was the only man for the job, and he had to do it right. So the serape was staying with Hanzo, a comfort and a promise to return to both. Hanzo lets Jesse sit them both on the bed, practically crawling into his lap. "I don't want you to go," he mumbles, vulnerable and small. The 'without me' is unsaid but understood.

Jesse strokes his back gently, tucking his face into Hanzo's hair. It's obvious, even without saying it, that Jesse doesn't want to go either. But someone has to do it. His cowboy, no longer scruffy, kisses the top of his head. "Just six months," he promises "if not less. And then I'll be home with you." Yes, just six months. Six long, _long_ months. Hanzo helps Jesse pack the things he needs to pass as an ordinary civilian, and then he hides a bottle of lotion in with it. He refuses to let his husband go for the rest of the night, clinging on tightly before he's forced to let go for a while.

When he wakes the next morning, the bed is cold, Jesse and his things are gone, and Hanzo is swaddled in the familiar scent of smoke, old leather, and just a hint of lotion. After three restless nights, he goes back to the room that was his before he married Jesse. Genji helps keep him distracted, and the letters Jesse and he trade fill the void just enough that it isn't painful, but halfway through he's more then ready for Jesse to come home. Frankly, so is his brother, already fed up with trying to keep him from going insane. Not that Genji is angry or anything- but as they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Six month after Jesse left, Hanzo is the first to greet him after Doctor Ziegler, passing off the clean serape and then attempting to attach himself to the man. " _Jesse_ ," he sighs, and everything  is good again. On rough hand cradles the back of his head, and the other keeps him close as his husband bends down to bury his nose in Hanzo's hair. After thirty-six unpleasant hours of travel, he's ready for a shower. Hanzo doesn't hesitate to tell him this, even as he buries his face in the man's chest and clings on tightly. It's straight to their shared bathroom again, but this time it's Hanzo drawing the bath as Jesse showers the grime away.

He hums thoughtfully, weighing two bath bombs in his hands, and decides on the chamomile one this time. As he stops the flow of the water, Jesse steps out of the shower. Dropping the bath bomb in, he lets his husband slide into to hot water first. The man groans blissfully, eyes shutting and the soft sting of the heat, and Hanzo slips into the bathtub as well. "Oh, Jesse, I _missed_ you," he sighs blissfully, cuddling up close to his best friend for the first time in six awful months. With a low, fond chuckle, the not-so-scruffy cowboy tangles their fingers together.

Everything feels right again, now that Jesse is back, and Hanzo feels a hole fill in his chest. This is bliss, Hanzo thinks, and just like always he turns so he can listen to Jesse's heartbeat. Six months without his husband. Six months without his support. The low lub-dub sound of his heart is musical in all of the best ways. It's steadying, as if Jesse's actually saying 'I'm here,' and 'I'm alive.' Jesse bends his head just to whisper that he loves Hanzo, and Hanzo kisses him in reply. When the water stops feeling so wonderfully hot, he and Jesse step out and get ready for bed.

Hanzo lingers a moment, drying his hair and braiding it like he always does after a bath. He hears the low thump of Jesse leaping onto the bed, and then the happy sigh as he relaxes. Smiling gently, Hanzo brushes his teeth quickly but efficiently. Bed and husband are both calling his name- one more literally then the other, of course. He steps out of the bathroom to find Jesse lounging on top of the covers. "Do I know you?" Jesse asks lightly, eyes crinkling in amusement. Hanzo doesn't pause, slipping onto the cool sheets without a thought. "Oh, did you forget?" he murmurs, shushing the cowboy when he tries to interrupt. "Let me _remind_ you," he purrs, pressing a line of kisses along his jaw. Jesse shudders against him. "Oh, baby, I _missed_ you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lil bit of implied naughtiness there at the end, because absence makes the heart grow fonder. It's been a long six months for both of them. Also, this is Apology Fluff for Drown.


	5. Christmas Eve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hanzo and Jesse wear sweaters and give each other Christmas gifts and do Christmas-y shit. Very good.

Hanzo wakes up with Jesse on top of him, alarm blaring it's eternally reviled note. "Get off of me," he grumbles half-heartedly, shoving at his husband almost playfully. With a good-natured grunt, the cowboy rolls off of him obediently as he stretches out to turn the awful clock off. Poking his head out from under the messy bundle of blankets, Hanzo has just enough time to feel the winter cold nip his nose before he darts back into the pocket of warmth. He hears Jesse's warm chuckle and pokes a hand out to flip him the bird. Yanking the hand back into safety, he rolls his eyes at the sound of the cowboy's laughter.

"C'mon out, Hanzo," Jesse jokes, seizing the bundle of blankets that is Hanzo. Squeaking slightly when two rough hands suddenly grab at his sides, Hanzo curls up even tighter then before. "I ain't coming out," Hanzo insists, putting on an absolutely _awful_ 'western' accent, "you'll never take me alive!" Laughing happily as he pulls Hanzo and blankets both into his arms, Jesse bends down to catch a good-morning kiss as soon as Hanzo pokes his head out. "D'you wanna make breakfast, or should I?" In lieu of an answer, Hanzo just leans against him and sighs, nuzzling his cheek on the soft shirt.

"Okay, I'll do it," Jesse hums, cradling him closer, "but do you think we could leave the bed blankets, y'know, on the bed?" Without a word, Hanzo twists a bit in his arms and drops all of the blankets back onto the bed. His husband makes an impressed noise even as he pauses by the door to let Hanzo grab one of the many blankets from the stack they leave out to swaddle himself in. After tucking all of the corners in so he doesn't have to feel the cold, he straightens just enough to press his face into the nape of Jesse's neck. "Love you," he grumbles sleepily, resting his head on his husband's shoulder.

The hallways are blissfully empty, Jesse's running commentary echoing along their lengths, and Hanzo revels in the strange quiet of the morning. Only the night is better for Hanzo, with its quiet intimacy and simple pleasures- but there's _something_ about the stillness of the early morning. In the kiss to his temple and the hush of clothes being pulled on. That simple bliss hidden within Jesse's rough hand running a gentle brush through his hair- and in Hanzo pulling his belt taught against his hips. Something like peace, but sweeter, genuine. Jesse's name in his mouth is an exaltation, his name in Jesse's joyous benediction.

The brush of his husband's thumb against his wedding band is perfection. Hidden in the way Jesse carries him to the kitchen like a babe, disguised within the quiet kisses and entwined fingers, are the silent 'I love you's they give to each other. Oh, rapturous morning, with whisper of winter's chill on the air. The cowboy's footsteps echo the lonely hallways, and there are so many pretty words to say- but Jesse knows them all.  Pale, greyish early-morning light shines through a window, bathing that section of the hallway in soft light. It casts their shadows long upon the wall, silhouetted mirrors of the true self.

His nose is cold, nipped by the crisp air by the time they make it to the kitchen, but the room is blissfully warm from the ambient heat the oven is giving off. Lucio has beaten them to the punch, saving Jesse from the hefty burden of making breakfast. The younger man greets them both with a grin, pulling a pan of hot cinnamon rolls free even as the oven turns off. Jesse sets him down after he frees his feet from their snuggly prison and offers to ice the rolls, moaning pitifully when Lucio smacks his hand away. When the low hum of the heater kicking on reaches their ears they all sigh appreciatively, and Hanzo folds himself into a chair as he pulls his blanket tighter.

For a moment in time, there's nothing but a comfortable silence between them. Each delight in that odd solemnity of the day before the world breathes out again and all things come to life, Lucio frosting cinnamon rolls and Jesse making coffee. The rich aroma of the hot drink swirls with the sweet scent of cinnamon-sugar and both are like home to the senses as Hanzo slowly blinks awake. Groaning internally, Hanzo manages his first autonomous action of the day- getting up to put the tea kettle on. Blanket still draped about his shoulders, he can't help the quiet moan he gives at the first taste of tea.

Lucio grins at him, chuckling hoarsely even while he hands Jesse the icing spatula like an obedient child. Rolling his eyes at the mental image, Hanzo snags one of the cinnamon rolls. Licking the sticky sugar off of his fingers as he sinks his teeth into the warm roll turning his eyes to Lucio in silent thanks. The man grins at him crookedly, snagging one for himself as Jesse licks the rest of the icing off of the spatula. "Good morning," he says eventually, smiling behind the last of his roll before popping it into his mouth with a self-satisfied smile. Lucio beams, winking at him as he says the same.

Genji wanders in, yawning a static-y yawn from behind his faceplate. His brother makes an indistinct grumbly sound, and then visibly brightens when he sees Lucio's tray of cinnamon rolls. The young man has already started on the second batch, leaving the spatula in Jesse's capable hands- and tongue, in this case. His husband scrubs it clean in the sink, soaping it down and rinsing it off. Jesse leaves it on a dishtowel by the sink, before sauntering across the room to the table where Hanzo had been sitting before. Adding sugar to the cup of coffee he'd fetched, Hanzo watches the cowboy take a sip and sigh happily.

"Good stuff," he murmurs, clasping the hot mug with both hands as steam curls up and out. Hanzo rolls his eyes fondly, stepping up to him just and tucking himself into his husband's side. Jesse's warm just like he always is, and a strong arm wraps around his waist to settle a hot hand on his hip. Jesse just grabs him by the chin and tips his head up into a kiss. He tastes deep, warm like coffee and sweet like sugar. "Mornin', baby," his husband murmurs against his lips, and Hanzo huffs a little laugh. "Wretch," Hanzo teases, giving Jesse's hair a gentle tug as he steps back to grab his mug of tea from the counter once more.

Suddenly, Genji makes a gagging sound from behind him. "Hanzo, please," he whines like the little shit he is, " _some_ of us are trying to eat!" Leaning into Jesse heavily, resting his cheek to the cowboy's chest, Hanzo pouted at him before whirling around and throwing a cinnamon roll at Genji's head. "Hey!" Genji squawked as the sticky breakfast bun nails him in the forehead. "Hanzo!" It really was a squeak more then anything else, an icing ring left behind. The cinnamon roll drops into a waiting hand, but Genji is staring at him wide-eyed.

Jesse is beside himself with laughter, a few tears of mirth spilling free. Hanzo snorts, leaning on Jesse heavily for support even as the man buries his laughter in Hanzo's hair. Lucio is clutching at a chair, hunched over with the effort not to laugh, with a fist stuffed into his mouth. "Anija, I didn't know that you even knew what 'fun' is," Genji heckles, waggling his eyebrows. He bounces forward, eyes scrunched up in amusement. With a gentle laugh, Hanzo turns into Jesse's chest to hide his face. "Oh no," Genji says, "I'm not falling for that twice." But he steps forwards anyways when Hanzo turns to look at him again.

Still pink cheeked, Hanzo reaches out, now that Genji's moved closer, and flicks him between the eyes. With a yelp, Genji stumbles backwards- and then tugs the lower part of his faceplate free with a hiss of mechanic locks just to gape at him. Hanzo grabs Jesse's hand and snatches another roll. Then he drags his husband out of the kitchen, laughing all the way. The halls are still empty as they race through them like giddy teens, but the sun has peeked over the horizon and turned to frosty grass outside into a glittering wonderland.

Their footsteps echo loudly in the halls, Hanzo trying to stifle his giggles and Jesse laughing aloud. Genji shouts a particularly rude phrase at their backs, and Hanzo's giggle dissolve into real laughs, interrupted only by embarrassing snorts. They slide into their room panting, still laughing, and Hanzo stuffs the cooling bun into Jesse's mouth before licking the sugar off of his fingertips. Lucio has really outdone himself, this time. Jesse pulls an ugly face at him around the cinnamon roll, mumbling something utterly indecipherable.

Without pausing, Hanzo tugs his tank top up over his head and tosses it on the floor and then follow it up with his sweat pants. "Jesse will you hand me my sweater, please?" he asks, tugging a pair of jeans on and buttoning them. His favorite blue sweater lands on his shoulder and Hanzo struggles to pull it on fast enough, already feeling the bite of the cold. Sticking his arms through the sleeves, Hanzo drops the shirt over his head and wriggles until it settles. Jesse is already wearing some truly _hideous_ Christmas-y number and is just now struggling into a pair of Hanzo's jeans.

Rolling his eyes, Hanzo reaches into the closet and grabs Jesse's pair before tossing it at him. "Those are _my_ pants, cowboy," the archer grumbles fondly, tugging the hair-tie out of his sleep braid. His hair falls in a curtain about his face, and he blows some of the hair out of his eyes. The sweater passing over his head had given his hair a bit of static charge, so he grabbed his brush and wandered into the bathroom. As he gently combs the few tangles out, Jesse comes up behind him and leans down to nose at his shoulder. "It's Christmas Eve," he says simply, and Hanzo reaches up with his free hand to run his fingers through his husband's hair with some difficulty.

"Yes," Hanzo agrees, setting the brush down and passing the cowboy his hair tie. Jesse's rough hands are gentle with his hair, quickly and efficiently pulling it up into a pony tail. "Are we going to the party?" It's an absent minded question, his husband's voice muffled by a toothbrush, but the answer is important. "Mm, I was thinking of it. We _did_ buy everyone gifts, after all." Jesse perks up, hang grasping the hem of his sweater so tightly that he nearly jars Hanzo's hand. "Jesse," he simpers, voice sweet and syrupy, "if you fuck up my eyeliner I'm filing for divorce." Jesse chokes and then laughs, letting his sweater go as he scrubs his mouth dry on a towel.

With an internal sigh, Hanzo screws the lid back on his eyeliner. Perfect wings- nearly sharp enough to cut a man. He allows himself a brief flash of nostalgia for the time he taught Genji to do this, all those years ago, and then moves on to rubbing some lotion in. Jesse sighs at the scent of cherry blossoms, grinning behind his unkempt beard. "Babe," his husband murmurs, "I have, uh, business to take care of, alright? I'll see you tonight?" Shifting to stand on the tips of his toes, Hanzo presses a gentle kiss to the side of Jesse's jaw. "Mm," he hums, "I have 'business' to take care of, too. I will see you tonight." 

The cowboy pinks softly at the way he says 'business', but ultimately just professes his love for Hanzo before bouncing out excitedly. With a fond grumble, Hanzo rolls his sleeve up as he leaves the room after his husband. His fuzzy socks stick to the floor ever so slightly, little rubbery grips keeping him from slipping. The rec room is empty when he peeks in, but he keeps going anyway. Silence, after so many years of it, frays his nerves- classical music plays gently whenever he walks alone. Hanzo wanders past the halls that are in use now, moving into the part of the facility that is yet to be renovated.

He's a man on a mission, after all. There's a tiny little room, crumbling and in disrepair, that any other then Hanzo or Genji would have difficulty getting to. A pile of debris and furniture blocks the little room off, and only Hanzo or Genji could possibly worm through the tiny hole in the roof and then wiggle past the support beams into the dingy room. Which has made it the perfect place for his little 'project'. The canvas is kept perfectly pristine- Hanzo had spent weeks cleaning dust and dirt away for this. The easel stands alone under a battery powered light, near a portable space heater, his paints on a tiny table next to them.

It's nearly finished by now, just needs the preserving varnish to keep it looking clean and sleek. Sweater's sleeves rolled up already, Hanzo uses a baby wipe to clean any dust or oils from his hands. He remembers the weight feel of the palette in his hands through months of work. The trick had been waiting for the paint to oxidize- a truly _excruciating_ process. But Hanzo hadn't wanted to ruin the paint, so it was necessary. His work is of them on their wedding night, sea, stars, and moon behind them. He remembers standing there on the rock, forehead to forehead, happy tears pricking at his eyes.

And so that is what he has painted: the gentle curve of Jesse's lips, the crinkle of his own crow's feet, the halo of the moon- the pale gold and blue of their vests. And the glint of his teeth, the silliest smile plastered to his face just before that first kiss. He'd called it good months ago, adding the smattering of freckles across his Jesse's nose- the gleaming stars in the night sky. The softest golden-brown isn't enough for his husband, the whitest white almost a mockery of the stars on that night. He feels as though he can never capture that color-saturated blissful evening in its entirety.

It's not enough, in his opinion, but it will have to do. Hanzo can only hope that Jesse will like it- like the effort of nearly seven months' time. Hopes that he likes the way Hanzo sees him. He remembers seeing Jesse that night, how breathless he'd become with his husband's beauty. The Jesse in the painting is radiant with joy and beautiful in the pale lighting. This is the work of his hands and his heart- the vision of beauty he'd seen that became his husband. "Oh, Jesse," Hanzo had sighed as he cleaned the dainty brush of paint. Everything was as it should be, and yet... Hanzo had shaken his head.

Then he'd added a soft dab of light to one of his own eyes, and that'd been it. The problem, of course, had not been with Jesse. It was just that missing bit on his own face. He'd made that gentle, silly smile, of course he had, but he'd missed that glint of adoration in his own eyes. All of his features seem softer for it, his face awash with joy- they are beatific together, Hanzo thinks. Mind you, he'd had to clean his brushes again after that. But for Jesse he would gladly spend his life doing nothing but, if he thought it would make his beloved happy.

The varnish goes on easily with Hanzo's steady hand to guide the way. With a surgical precision he liberally applies the preserving coat before stepping back. For what it is, it's perfect. The varnish has saturated the colors, making it just as vibrant as it is in his mind's eye. Beautiful. Again, the waiting for the drying is pain. It takes nearly two hours, finishes at the prime hour of nine in the morning. Seven is too early to get up on a holiday, in both Hanzo _and_ Jesse's opinion, but there are things that can't be avoided and routine is apparently one of them.

With the utmost care, he wraps the frame in bright red paper as loosely as he can manage. Humming to himself he tugs golden ribbons taught about the flat parcel before tying them tight and curling the ends with a pair of scissors. Then Hanzo presses a tag to the top ever so gently before scrawling a quick 'To Bonnie, I owe you one, Clyde 12-25-76' on it and calling it good. After seven months, it's finally finished- finally wrapped and ribboned and tagged. The rest of the day is hell- all of the others' presents are already wrapped or bagged and are carefully stacked by the door to his and Jesse's room.

Hanzo has nothing to do but wander around and eat way too many sugary treats, which he isn't _really_ complaining about, but Jesse still hasn't returned from his 'business' and he doesn't quite know what to do with himself without the light of his life around to cuddle. So he stops by the kitchen to make sad eyes at Reinhardt until he lets Hanzo sample the fresh snickerdoodles before poking his head in just in time to see Lucio flip the Candyland game board. "You cheated!" he accuses Genji as Hana rolls onto her back cackling. Genji holds himself ever so innocently, head tilted in confusion.

"Of course I didn't," his brother says lightly, "but even if I did there's no way you can prove it." Hanzo steps in, shuffling over to the table even as he buries his nose in his soft, blue sweater. Then he peers over the pile of used cards. "Genji stacks the deck, and always has," the elder ninja mumbles into the fabric, "he just moves the ice cream card or the lollipop card to the second position. It was something that I was urged to encourage as a boy." Lucio gasps, scandalized. Hana wheezes, one chocolate stained hand reaching dramatically into the sky as if to gasp for breath.

"Hanzo, _why_?" Genji wails, "You would _betray_ your _only brother_?" Hanzo gives him a deadpan affirmative, eyes devoid of sympathy. "Yes," he replies, "because I had to put up with years of your bragging about how your 'stupid big brother' couldn't even beat you at a little kids' game." On the floor, both Hana and Lucio are gaping up at him. Genji gives him a look of utter hurt, clutching his shirt over his heart as if to say 'you wound me, brother'. Hanzo rolls his eyes fondly, before feeling a pang of absence. There's a long, semi-awkward pause.

"God, you're gay," Genji says, packing away the Candyland board and pieces. On his way out of the room, Hanzo freezes. "Don't play Life because Genji cheats. Don't play Monopoly because Genji and I are _both_ ruthless sharks who have been trained for business since conception." His brother swears loudly, roughly tossing the ancient board game onto the pile of the others. Lucio gives him a thumbs up and a quick grin which he returns with a gentle smile. Even as he's drifting down the hallway he hears his younger brother saying "I'm pretty sure Hanzo came out of the womb with a business degree, honestly, so that's fair."

The sun is finally in the sky, and the building is warm enough that the chill outside doesn't seem so bad. He's still chuckling as he opens the door to the room Jesse and he share, and sighs happily when he hears said man rustling around within. "Jesse, I'm ho-," his husband flails desperately, hiding whatever it is he's got behind his back in a truly classic fumble looking as though Hanzo's come to murder him. "Uh, hey, uh, Hanzo, baby, sweetheart." With a fond shake of his head he adds the newest parcel to the stack of neatly wrapped gifts by the door.

"Don't worry, beloved," he soothes, shuffling to the bathroom, "I won't _peek_ and ruin your surprise." The audible sigh of relief has a wave of adoration crashing over the top of Hanzo's head, sees him trying to stifle an uncharacteristic giggle or love-struck sigh. A fluttery, wiggly, warm feeling blossoms in his belly and spreads like the sweetest debilitating poison throughout his whole body. "Jesse," he mock-grumbles, "who gave you the right to be so cute?" His husband laughs sheepishly, even as Hanzo carefully detangles his hair once more. Then after a short pause for thought, tugs his nice blue sweater over his head and hangs it up again, rifling through their closet and stealing Jesse's red one.

It's too long for him, falling down to mid-thigh, but Hanzo tugs the warm fabric over his head and relishes the heady scent of Jesse. If he isn't going to see his husband all day, then he'll take whatever he can get. "And you call _me_ cute," Jesse drawls, stepping forward to rub their noses together. Hanzo steals a kiss, and then another, since whatever it is his husband was hiding has been covered up or moved. "Jesse," he whines, pressing himself up against his husband, " _hold me_." His cowboy pretends to deliberate, settling his chin on the top of Hanzo's head.

"I _guess_ I can make time for you," he teases, chuckling even as Hanzo hides an absolutely stupid smile in his collarbone. He tugs on a fluffy white pompom. "This shirt is inexpressibly awful," Hanzo mumbles as Jesse lifts him up. It's a bit pathetic, in Hanzo's opinion, how little time he can go before missing his husband. He relishes the warm hand at his back and melts into his husband. "Ready for a nap already?" Jesse asks indulgently. After only a little over two hours apart, Hanzo feels inexplicably clingy and needier then he's ever been in his life.

"No," he answers eventually, chewing on his lower lip. Totally unguarded in the way he only is with Jesse. "Want." He breaks off with a pathetic whine, head tucking itself under his husband's chin. The cowboy hums, somehow understanding what he means. "Alrighty then, angel face," the perfect man says into his hair, carrying him out the door in an odd mirror of themselves just a few hours previous, "to the couch we go." And they do- foolishly, Lucio and Hana had immediately begun a game of Monopoly the second after he told them not to, and Genji is cackling malevolently.

Hanzo watches them idly, a fire crackling in the fireplace that had gone unused the rest of the year long, a blanket pulled up to his chin. Jesse's listening to some sport or another on the television, playing with Hanzo's hair like he always does when they're relaxing, and sometimes stroking a cheek with one of his rough thumbs. They doze lazily, for lack of anything to do but also because it's nice to just be. With a hefty sigh he tries to help Lucio as best as he can, but ultimately Genji's ploy had been in the works for too many turns and was now unstoppable.

Reinhardt comes in with an old, paper book and a tin of fudge that Soldier 76 made yesterday evening. He settles himself into his armchair, a warm, leather thing, and tosses Hanzo a piece of the fudge when he lifts his head up. Feeling delightfully cozy, he catches the little cube in his mouth and lets the sweet chocolate melt. Jesse cranes his neck down to steal a kiss even as he settles back down and draws the blankets nearer. "DON'T GIVE HIM THE PINK ONE LUCIO!" Hanzo laughs, full and belly-deep, at the sound of Hana's angry squeal. Genji shrieks with laughter.

Jesse laughs too, and a warmth settles in Hanzo's belly. This is his husband, his beloved, his utterly _ridiculous_ cowboy, and he wouldn't give him up for anything in the world. He curls his fingers in a fistful of the visually assaulting sweater and coos. "Oh my _god_ , Hanzo, could you be _any_ gayer?" his younger brother groans, and Hanzo doesn't hesitate in the skillful throwing of a pillow at Genji. The younger Shimada punches it out of the air, scattering his Monopoly money to the four corners of the Earth. "No!" he wails, and Lucio crows triumphantly.

"Genji folds! I win!" Hanzo smirks into Jesse's beard, having wiggled upward, and flips his brother off quickly. "This was your plan all along, wasn't it?" Genji grumbles, before packing all the pieces up good-naturedly. He never manages a reply, because bundled up with blankets and sweaters with his husband lulls him into the odd space between sleep and the waking world. Jesse turns his head to press a kiss to his temple and he smiles gently. Jesse tries to rouse him for lunch some time later, but Hanzo has plenty of lost sleep to make up for.

He sighs and grumbles and wiggles unhappily until his husband rolls those whiskey eyes ever so fondly and sits them both up so he can hand feed Hanzo with ease. "'anks," he manages to croak, and Jesse laughs indulgently before hefting a spoon to his lips. "Can do it m- _mmmm_ ," he rasps, only to be silenced by a truly heavenly mouthful of potato soup. It's easy to surrender to Jesse, so he leans his head back to kiss his husband's neck before the next mouthful. "Honey pot, you're gonna be the death of me," Jesse murmurs, burying his nose in Hanzo's hair just the way he always does.

Then he exhales and steals the next spoon of potato-y goodness. With an offended look Hanzo steals the bowl away until Jesse relinquishes the spoon, too. And then he returns the favor, smiling gently as he moves the spoon to his husband's mouth. Jesse turns away, giving the spoon the side-eye, before snatching the whole spoon in his mouth and pulling it away from Hanzo's loose grasp. With a squeak of surprise he jolts back nearly falling off of his husband's lap, and then subsequently to the floor. The cowboy wraps his hands around Hanzo at once, one on his hip and the other at his back, saving him.

Quick as a flash, Hanzo clasps the back of Jesse's neck with both hands and tucks his nose into the neck of his sweater again, peering up at him bashfully. Then without pause, like the skilled assassin he is, he steals the spoon right from Jesse's mouth and gets two mouthfuls of potato soup of his own before his cowboy recovers. "Hey!" Jesse laughs, before picking up the bowl and swallowing some soup directly. Hanzo gasps in mock horror. "You heathen!" he accuses playfully, shoving at him with one hand. They play with each other like children, not caring who sees, until the whole bowl of soup is gone.

With a pleased rumble, Hanzo wriggles in his husband's lap until he can rest his head on his shoulder comfortably. "Wanna watch a movie?" A valid question- it's barely noon and they won't have to socialize with anyone else until after dinner unless they want to. A quick scan of the room reveals that everyone else is gone and the once merrily crackling fire is now smoldering. After some serious thought, he says "Yes, but only if we watch Die Hard. And not the reboots, those are awful." Jesse laughs cheerily and they set to it. As it turns out, they watch Die Hard 2 as well, and by the end of it Hanzo is so gorged on sweets he doesn't know if he can even eat dinner.

Not that it stops him from trying- Reinhardt and Torbjorn are both shooting the shit over some spiked eggnog. The peppermint Schnapps is a nice touch, in Hanzo's opinion, even if he doesn't really like it. It tastes perfect in Jesse's mouth though, which he finds out after getting stuck in a doorway trapped with mistletoe. He doesn't really understand the tradition, but then again he doesn't really care. Any excuse to kiss his cowboy is a good excuse. Hana crows victoriously, catching a snapshot for her scrapbook; or her social media account, more like. 

Hanzo doesn't miss Jesse slipping away, but he's too busy balancing precariously stacked boxes in his arms to pay much attention. "A little help?" he asks, his brother springing forth just to rifle through the stack and steal his own before dashing off. With an annoyed sigh, he follows the little taps of Genji's feet into the rec room. Everyone is already passing parcels around, but Hanzo just tosses new ones in the recipients' directions. When he's finally down to the long, flat one, he tries to contain himself. His heart is thrumming in his chest so hard that he's sure everyone can hear it, but he can't help it.

His husband's footsteps are so familiar to him by now that he could pick them out in a crowd, and when he hears them approaching he straightens visibly. Genji is squealing over his brand new really old Gameboy, Hana staring in disbelief at a vintage copy of Battle Toads. Reinhardt is clutching a set Hasselhoff CDs and beaming at him. Lucio gives him a grin at the frog kigurumi in his box. All of the others thank him over the sounds of tearing paper and laughter, clinking cocoa mugs and yelps of 'Hot!'. Jesse steps in, two boxes in his hands held together by ribbon.

"Hanzo," the scruffy man mumbles nervously. Hanzo's heart seizes in his chest but he musters just enough courage to thrust his gift towards his husband. It's a bit too sharp a movement and he hears Genji groan in second hand embarrassment behind him. Suddenly, his mouth feels dry. Jesse sets the packages to the side and takes the package with apparent trepidation. Now he only has eyes for his husband. The most perfect man in the world peels back the loosely taped paper and gasps. It's like the hush of the ocean on the shoreline, the wind in the fall leaves, and a breath in his ear at night.

At the soft 'oh', Hanzo melts. He dissolves under the happy tears that prick the cowboy's waterline, is swallowed up in the amazed part of those lips. " _Hanzo_ ," Jesse breathes, and everyone is craning their necks or looming over shoulders to see what Jesse's gotten. He passes the painting into Soldier 76's careful hands and reaches for Hanzo, pulling him into a bone crushing hug. "I _love_ it," he whispers, "I love _you_." He hides a beatific smile in his husband's scruff, planting a kiss on the corner of his mouth. "As I love you, Jesse," he says. The other man's fingers tremble as they gently caress the soft curve of Hanzo's smile immortalized in paint.

There's a pause. "Bonnie and Clyde, though?" Hanzo laughs freely, tossing his head back. Jesse grins at him, smiling so perfectly that he almost can't stand it. "I thought you might like that," he admits bashfully, looking up from under his eyelashes. Cheeks a merry pink and dark eyes glittering, he melts into a kiss with a happy sighs, both hands clutching at Jesse's ugly sweater. "It's _perfect_ ,"  Jesse whispers, love weaving like a river between every syllable. Hanzo beams, something silly and beatific, and the whole world settles into a little slice of perfection.

Then his cowboy jolts. "Ah. Almost forgot," he croaks, and Hanzo can almost see the excited wiggle Jesse wants to do. A soft silver package is shoved into his hands by an over-exuberant husband with an order to open it. He shreds the paper like it's personally offended, just because the sound feels nice in his ears, and blinks at a box. Hanzo's eyebrows go up as he deliberately opens the box as slowly as possible to build suspense. He cracks it open like a nervous teen, vulnerable and open. Jesse's eyes are locked to him, so he stops torturing the poor man and opens the box in one fell swoop.

And then he blinks. "What?" he whispers, eyes widening. "Oh, Jesse, _oh_." It's his _hat_. In the meantime, Jesse's opened the second box and plonked a new hat on his head, making the gesture clear. Hanzo swallows a sob. A swell of adoration catches painfully in his throat, sending his head spinning and his heart soaring. "Oh, Jesse." he says, and means 'I love you,' even as he lets it rest on his head. He reaches up and tips it gently, like Jesse always does, and then he throws all propriety to the breeze. Hanzo throws himself face-first into Jesse's sweater, nuzzling his neck repeatedly.

"Figured I ought to get my partner a hat." Jesse grins at him weakly, hands reaching up to adjust the stetson. Kissing his collar bone, Hanzo takes it off and passes it back. "Well, I guess you'd better take care of it for me then, cowboy," he murmurs, staring into that scruffy face like it holds the secrets of the universe, and Jesse pulls his old hat back on and returns the new to its box. They kiss again, twin souls coming together in bliss once more, and break apart at the sound of Genji gagging. Jesse swears at him, but Hanzo just rolls his eyes. "Merry Christmas, Jesse," he murmurs before stealing another kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like 6k words of mchanzo christmas. I hope you liked it! If you can think of any way for me to improve, go ahead and let me know!


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